Even for abstinent teenagers like me, the topic of sex is a big one.

So there was a feeling of excitement when the student body of La Salle High School gathered on a recent morning to listen to a presentation by Brad Henning on exactly that topic.

Henning goes around the country talking to teenagers about healthy relationships. He has been doing this through his nonprofit organization, Life Resources, since 1994. And he has worked with teenagers in various youth groups for 30 years.

The first segment of his presentation at La Salle focused on the differences between guys and girls. A whiteboard was divided into two sections: one outlining the behavior of teenage boys, the other explaining that of teenage girls.

The most notable difference was addressed first: While male teenagers are typically
impersonal, their female counterparts are very personal. Henning highlighted this point by underlining words and including a couple dozen exclamation points.

Laughter filled the room as he continued to explain the differences between teenage males and females. Much of the laughter came from the truth of the
matters being addressed.

One point: Boys are more goal-oriented while girls are more detail-oriented. Henning exemplified this by bringing up a trip to the mall; a girl searches aimlessly for hours while a boy asks what she is looking for or where to find it.

I felt the dread of the described mall trip from my seat, and began to feel sorry for the theoretical guy in the story.

But the laughter ceased when Henning delved into the meatier portion of the presentation: the part about love and sex.

Henning defines love as "choosing the highest good for the other person." With this in mind, he began to tell what could best be
described as "sex horror stories," in which some of the most brutal realities of premarital sex were
exposed.

Of course, there was the typical baffling question of why a girl who frequently has sex is labeled a "slut" while the guy is labeled a "stud."

But there were also heartbreaking stories -- each of which Henning said he had heard from other students he had presented to -- of girls being raped or having abortions or guys committing suicide while their girlfriends were dumping them over the phone.

Through all of these stories, Henning drew the connections back to his definition of love. Did any of these people choose the highest good for the other person? Were those in the crowd who claimed to be in love choosing the highest good for the other person?

As he pounded into the collective heads of the audience, love is not about sexual attraction or doing what will please the other person, but rather about acting in a way that best benefits that person.

I am still yet to be in love. Still, Henning's message connected with me.

Even for those not currently dating, love can be a dangerous game in the teenage years. And with college being just a year and several months away, I'm soon going to be in the part of my life where love will become a much larger concern.

At this point in time, I want to remain a virgin until I am married. But I still fear that value might become compromised at some point along the way, especially given the existence of myth that "everyone does it in college."

But as Henning told us of how he remained a virgin until he was married -- and of his pride in that fact -- I felt a larger kind of encouragement than I had at any other point in the presentation.

And it was at this point that it was clear to me that love isn't about sex or pleasing the other person all the time. Instead, it really is about "choosing the highest good for the other person," however that choice might come about.

* Andy Carroll attends La Salle High School.